Max & Tash Run The Rules

Yeah so I've been meaning to come in here and put together a list of fuckery that I don't want to see for random Niggers (yes, that's what I said) for the next 4 years. I was on IM with Tashie and we got to spittin and here is our draft list direct from our brain grapes:

Tasha: Has officially been chopped and screwed.
Mrs: http://flickr.com/photos/barackobamadotcom/sets/72157608716313371/show/
Sent at 9:42 AM on Thursday
Tasha: aww
he watched CNN
Mrs: lol
Tasha: as did I but i watched MSNBC too
LMAO
Mrs: those pics are great
I hate CNN
sorry
Tasha: darn u NEWS TV
Mrs: but they all annoy me
Tasha: DARN U
Mrs: I watch MSNBC
and I turn to Fox to see how long I can last before I cuss and turn the channel
Tasha: i stream MSNBC
watch CNN
Mrs: nope
I did it in reverse
Tasha: and smite Fox news
Sent at 9:48 AM on Thursday
Mrs: why have you been chopped and screwed?
Tasha: the song
is my new guilty pleasure
that darn TPAIN
with his hot beat
Mrs: oh
yeah no
Tasha: it's so bad i downloaded the instrumental
which is hot as hell
Mrs: wow
That’s unfortunate
Tasha: and it's very much like the song "I Get so Lonely" by Janet Jackson
have u heard the song
Mrs: I don't listen to the radio so I don't know anything
Tasha: girl i will send u the instrumental because i know tpain will make ur ears bleed
Mrs: thanks
you are correct
he makes me stabby
Tasha: LMAO
Mrs: and I need him to stop running around lookin like a damn lawn jockey
the president is black for gods sakes
I'm thinking about writing a post for Race Rehab on the rules of behavior for the next 4 years
Tasha: LMAO
Mrs: specifically for Niggers
Tasha: no flavor of ANYTHING
Mrs: exactly
Tasha: remove flava flav from TELEVISION immediately
no wayans brothers movies
NONE
NADA
Mrs: banish T-Pain
Tasha: no more songs with Niggaz, strippaz, hoez, bitches and poles
Mrs: Kanye must keep his cuntyness at low levels
Tasha: just say no
to niggaz poles and a hoe
Mrs: Diddy must immediately shut the fuck up
Tasha: that is our new slogan
Mrs: LOL
Mos Def must give up all forms of Chickenheadery
Tasha: Mos Def must be married to only one chick at a time
TI must not turn into TIP
EVER
no more supermanning, batmanning or crankin dat hoe
no more!
Lauryn must go into rehab, get her shit together and have the Fugees perform proper like at the Inaug
black women must once again
COVER THEIR ASSES
wear BRAS
and Girdles so shit doesn't shake like a salt shaker
unless u are with ur man
no more dressing for the CLUB at work
Black Men...please make belts part of your clothing attire
STAT
Sent at 10:06 AM on Thursday
Mrs: VH1 must stop all versons of shows with of Love in the tittle
they are embarssing to humanity
Tasha: VH1 must only have shows about music
I love the
Mrs: MTV must actually show videos
Tasha: BET must either cease to exist or go back to serving black folks and not gutter trash
i need it to stand for Black Elite Television
Mrs: Word
The president is Black for godssakes!
Sent at 10:22 AM on Thursday
Tasha: Black men must atleast own ONE SUIT
and not purple either
all teeth grilling establishments must go out of business STAT
Mrs: All Pimp cups, hats, canes and suits must be turned over for a mass burning in a bonfire
preferrably in a town square
Tasha: Spinning rims must be removed and never reproduced AGAIN
Mrs: Owners of Luxury cars must also own their homes
Tasha: and cars
Mrs: Also, too, chicks with 5 or more children must have regular birth control on hand
Tasha: no
2 or more
must be forced to have birthcontrol
Mrs: Dudes must have vasectomies if they father more than 2 kids
Tasha: i have two
Mrs: lol
Tasha: i can't do another
Anyone who has more than two different parents for their children (keep in mind this includes me so i can say it) must not reproduce without being married
it must be put into LAW
Any man or woman that does not pay their childsupport...must be sent to Gitmo
does an olbermann turn to the camera that means you wayne muhammad
does another turn to the camera on the left that means u twan
Mrs: LMAO
Any man or woman who spends less than 365 days out of the year with their children forfeits their parental rights
Tasha: Leave Gitmo open for Childsupport violators please
Mrs: word
and they can get the abu grieb treatment
Tasha: YES
i was trying to find the name of the place
glad u said it cuz i was searching
Sent at 10:42 AM on Thursday
Mrs: lol
Tasha: No more cornrows
on men
cuz they don't keep them up
Mrs: no fucking ponytails on men
no goddamn perms either
Tasha: yes
i was gonna type that
turns to side camera that means u Rev Al
Mrs: any attire that makes you look like a slave or a hoe is banned!!
Tasha: if u act like a slave or a hoe...Gitmo for u
Mrs: for deprogramming
Tasha: YES
all white folks with cornrows must be beaten into submission to the clippers
Mrs: President Obama needs to form a Drop Squad to round up all errant Niggers for deprogramming
Tasha: and i'm sorry no more white dudes with dreds cuz it is a must to wash their hair everyday
Mrs: LOL
did I send you that thing from SNL?
with Ras Trent?
Tasha: and while i'm on that....no more going outin public with Scarves unless u are a muslim, rollers and picks or combs in ur heads
no i didn't
Mrs: word. All hair must be coiffed before leaving the house
or you will be banished
Tasha: yes
and if u rock a ponytail
that shit must be neat
and to the back
not on the side unless u are a kid
and not on the top flairing out unless u are in a mary j blige video
Mrs: LOL
all weaves must consist of proper hair
Tasha: Black people
Mrs: not in grades that ain't yours
Tasha: STOP EMBARRISING US IN FRONT OF THESE WHITE FOLKS
Mrs: or colors that don't exist in nature
Tasha: no more koolaid for color inspiriation
Mrs: designs on dragon lady nails and dragon lady nails for that matter are banned
Tasha: no more curved nails
Mrs: no
French manis only
at realistic lengths
Sent at 10:55 AM on Thursday
Tasha: yo i'm palin i'm out!
Mrs: LOL
they were dissin her to her face yo
Tasha: yes!
baddadingding ding ding whoaaaaaaaa
Mrs: LMAO
OH HOTSTEPPER YOU DO SO MANY DUTTY CRIMES!
Tasha: are u there jah it's me ras trent
Mrs: LOL
Tasha: Are you there Jah it's me Ras Trent...skiddle lee whoaaaaa
Tasha: that got me
Mrs: NYABINGHI
Tasha: when he said skiddle lee whoaaaaaaa
LMAO
Mrs: Excuse I
LOL
I was destroyed by the whole thing
Tasha: when he walked by those rastaz
LMWO
Mrs: LOL
Tasha: yes laffin my weight off
Mrs: I had to rewind that shit
Tasha: that's what i said
i did too
Mrs: LOL
I saw it on tv first
I called Zeen to watch it
He was in hysterics
Tasha: LMAO
hahahahahahaa
Mrs: I love how he told his bombaclot parents he's changing religions
Tasha: Which required the floors to be re-done so that there is continuity in the color and grain of the floors throughout.
Fragment sentence
Mrs: I thought so
hold on
I must have sent an old version
I changed that sentence
Tasha: ok
Mrs: wrong version
Tasha: k
Mrs: sent the right one
Tasha: good letter
exhibit A
LMAO
max is on law and order
Sent at 11:08 AM on Thursday
Mrs: LOL
it's not a game
Tasha: LMAO
Black People
do not put ur utilities in ur child's name
Mrs: or credit cards
or cable accounts
Tasha: LAWD
Mrs: or anything else
because that shit is triffling
Tasha: Black people
stop making up names
Mrs: seriously
Tasha: the president's name is BARACK...it MEANS SOMETHING
not the name of a car
electronic company
those do not count
TOSHIBA is not a proper name for a child
and if it ends in esha, quanda, quita, quida don't do it
and no combining names to give your child a name Keyaaron (for KEith Aaron)
Mrs: and if you don't make them up don't fuck up the spelling on a perfectly good names
Tasha: Shawn and Sean are good
Mrs: looking at my brother Philip
Tasha: we dont need Shauyne
Chaun
what did he name his child?
Mrs: Isiah is not spelled Izeyah
Tasha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
messing up the Lord's work
uhm looking at wayne
Mrs: No muslim names if you ain't really muslim
Tasha: Mikalah is not spelled Mekaylah
Mrs: ugh
Tasha: so nuri doesn't accept that as one of her names
seriously she won't
she said i use the names u gave me mommy
Mrs: My new nephew's name is Shaheed
Tasha: oh like Ali Shaheed
Mrs: right
Tasha: from tribe called quest
ok
Mrs: exactly
he's never getting on a plane
Tasha: LMAO
what's his last name
Mrs: I've decided to call him Xavier
Tasha: is that his middle name?
Mrs: No
Tasha: oh
Mrs: I made it up
Tasha: just ur name
ok
i do that
Mrs: that's what I call him
Tasha: amir's house negro name is Patrick
Mrs: because I'm sure my "muslim" brother is eating a pork chop
Tasha: hahahahahahahahahaha
what is ur brother's last name
dies at muslim brother
and on that note
my dearest black muslim family
pans camera closely
this is America and every topic does not have to be based on how your religion is better
Mrs: my brother's last name is Thompson
Tasha: and it's Blessed are the Poor in SPIRIT
not broke as hell on earth
go to work my brothaz
Mrs: holla
them bean pies won't pay your mortgage
Tasha: pushes camera back and clutches quran
Mrs: LOL
Tasha: me and a sister were talking about that last night
cuz she was like yeah sis. so and so asked me for ur number and said that she and her husband aren't together
i said correct..she was going to talk to u about it but we had to get our plans together
sister so and so's husband would not provide fro the family
in three months only gave 60 dollas to the household fund
Mrs: damn
these cats become Muslims for the wrong reason
they like all the rah rah about the dude running the house
but it also means you need to provide trifflin negro
Triflin is triflin whether you're rocking a kufi with the dress thing or a bowtie with a crisp suit
you aren't any different than the cat in the baggy ass jeans and timbs with the eleventy billion kids he doesn't support
Also, too, Black women, if he was trifflin when you met him, trifflin he will remain. You cannot change a man or love him into some sort of ideal if he wasn't ideal to start with
Tasha: YES!
if he was on crack
he's gonna be a crackhead
i said it before u could
thanks!
Mrs: done and done
LOL
ha
Sent at 11:26 AM on Thursday
Mrs: ok so the testicular pain song is good
he sucks though
Luda is good as always
Tasha: hahahha
see
Sent at 11:43 AM on Thursday
Mrs: still sucks
lol
Tasha: LMAO
Sent at 12:00 PM on Thursday
Mrs: I'm just going to blog our convo
on Race Rehab
Sent at 12:20 PM on Thursday
Tasha: hahahahahaha

Election 2008